Most of the times it is next to impossible to stay happy due to things happen in our surroundings, doesn’t matter what it is? pressure at work, loss in stock market, ass hole boss, irritating spouse, tensions in relations, worried about children and what not. But as a human nature we stick to those things more than we embrace happy moments. It is always said that happiness is for few moments only, but do we ever realize that it is same with sorrows. The action is instantaneous for sorrows or happiness. But we embrace sorrows for longer time and we miss the happiness around.
Think about it, we get the call of bad news from extended family and we get the good news also. The duration of call may vary couple minutes more or less. But the impact it leaves behind on us is more when it is bad news. Both of these calls you received but we embrace the sorrows for longer and happiness for fraction of that of sorrow.
I would say find happiness around you and crush down the sorrow with it and stay more happier than sad.
Try to find happiness in small things and stay happier.
Unless you have a crystal ball it is not possible to guess what others expects from you. Every time we try to take care of major details or aspects of any thing but we forget to take care of minor things. This happens many times, you can call it human nature or may be something we can call it slip through the crack. But are you totally responsible for this, I don’t think so but your partner thinks you are totally responsible for not meeting the expectations.
“Expectation” is root cause of all problem, in any relation.
When you start expecting and when your expectations do not get fulfilled by your partner then, you can call it as a official “Start of problem”. Once you get into any relation we always make it more complicated than it suppose to be. By virtue of human nature we add so many additives in our relation and we make it more complicated.
I would like to share the story of my friend.
One day he came home and he was very hungry, due to work load he didn’t get any time to eat. He came home and went straight to kitchen and started eating whatever he find in the fridge. He totally forgot that he said to his wife last week to take her out for dinner next week. Now what, his wife was getting ready assuming that she will go out for dinner today and it was her expectation and my friend didn’t had any clue about this. She came out from bedroom and finds her husband eating alone in the living room. She turned red, and created big drama. They were fighting for 3 days and somehow their anger died down with time, otherwise who knows how long it would last.
Can you tell me whose is at fault, in this whole scenario ? is it really difficult to tell ? I don’t think so, If you ask any bi-stander they can tell you it’s not my friend’s fault. But when his wife was expecting something from her husband she did not expressed her clearly that she wants to go for dinner tonight itself.
One should always avoid these confusions in a life, be specific and clear all the time to make it happen smoothly. There is lot to write about this but i don’t want to make it too long. I hope I conveyed my message.
August 2, 2010
This is again the major problem and it is the direct cause that makes you sad. When you see the things around, you consider everything against you, How?. Say you are the type of person who is not very active in the group and always get ignored by other friends, friends never consider you while taking any group decision, they just tell you not ask about your opinion etc… So in most of the cases person start thinking negatively that, no one likes him or everybody ignores him. Sometimes this may be true but instead of trying to overcome this problem or trying to get mixed up with friends around you, you takes it to heart and start thinking that “everything against you, and no one likes you”.
As an example, if two people are talking about something which is not even related to you. Then also you take it negatively and starts considering that those two guys must be talking something bad about me. Off course not, but you assume this in such a way and get dragged away from the crowd more and more. Start spending most of the time alone, sad, thinking about yourself or you think about punishing everyone or you start living in your own authority world. This is real bad thing and can push you anytime in the depression. So avoid it at the early stage and get the control of situation as soon as possible before it gets worst.
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In my last post, I was talking about motive in every relation, another thing I would like to put in front of you, Its not really bad to have the motive in keeping the relation, but don’t be unscrupulous that you forget all the help you got, all the favors you accepted from your friend, never forget those. I am not saying I was 100% right and she was 100% wrong, but the favors were not balanced at all. I was loyal towards my friend and friendship but the way I was treated was not ethical, anyway not to give too much of importance and bad name to someone but I am not disclosing the name of the person so its fine to take it as an example.
I would like to make a point here, Keep the relation balanced, do not mix the relation with the business because it is difficult to draw the line between friendship and business. Another thing is, we start expecting so many things, just avoid that, may be I had also made this mistake. But i would say here that at least i was not unscrupulous and was not greedy to take someone’s share, but some people are.
Keep reading about the thoughts on “Mysorrows”